Steps for online dating
I suppose I should admit here that yes: I’m still single. Because I’m one of the few single people who’s no longer complaining — I’m regularly dating women I’m attracted to, both mentally and physically, and I know it’s only a matter of time before I meet [special one].*The steps that follow have been crucial to my success, but nothing was possible until I adopted a change in thinking, so let’s start with that.However, the arc of my experiences has led me to adopt what follows as a best practice when it comes to dating. The Dating Mindset: Be as Open as Possible People are not products.Keep in mind, by best I don’t mean perfect — I simply mean the best we can be within reason at the time.For example, when I first became single I was significantly overweight. When I achieved that goal, I was the best version of myself — but that didn’t mean I couldn’t continue to get better.Step 3: Find an Effective Way to meet People For me that’s MIRL — I’d rather talk to attractive women I come across in my day to day life, see if there’s a connection, and then go from there. These days most people use some form of SOD (swipe/online dating).Personally, I think this is a terrible way to meet people for a number of reasons — even for women. The only thing I’ll say about it here is this: the dynamics, mindset, and casual nature of dating apps makes finding a long term partner extremely unlikely (Tinder is why fuckbois exist).OK, so good question: what does enough time look like?
Step 4: Don’t Burn Bridges or Define the Relationship too Early Once you’re officially adulting it’s unlikely you’re going to have a relationship where you fall head over heels for each other, going from date number one to boyfriend/girlfriend in the span of a week or two like what happened in high school, college, or your early twenties (if it does, then fuck yeah for you — that rocks).
It’s just not enough time to get to know that person and sustain a relationship.
If you’re a single parent like me (50/50), this means that sometimes you’ve got to ask the grandparents or a friend or relative to watch the kiddo, or shell out the cash for a babysitter.
Now this should seem fairly obvious, but as anyone who’s been single for more than few months can tell you, a lot of people are too busy to date.
They literally do not have enough time in their lives for other people.… Seriously: if you don’t have enough time to date, stop wasting your time and everyone else’s. Your time — clearly — is better spent on other things, and for those of us who are serious about this shit, it’s obnoxious.