Dating an older white man tales of dating and mating
, a detail is given to character Sherman’s boss’ “young wife”. Oh, and then there’s Boris Johnson, currently storming up the news with details of his divorce from his long-term partner Marina Wheeler having been linked with a 30-year-old Tory advisor called Carrie Symonds.
Sure, it manifests in different forms – sometimes Tory and toffy, where the dream woman favours wellies and bad pashminas and Joules travel bags, and other times faux-bohemian, where she, like Grimes, is a touch more gothy, opting for black lace and a burgundy lip over a peppy pink shade.
I don’t look the same; I have hair on every inch of my skin; I’m worried he might be fetishizing me; my circle of friends is multi-ethnic and loud and proud about it; I grew up in a diverse suburb that I can make fun of but he absolutely can’t; my favourite tote bag reads “Carry yourself with the confidence of a mediocre white man.” These are points of tension.
So, they don’t have to lead to actual tension—but a lot of the time, they do.
I find myself having to explain family, tradition, tastes and experiences I did or didn’t have, while there’s a silent assumption that I already understood his—and honestly, I probably , because growing up in Canada meant learning how to straddle the East and West.
Laying down my baggage, then, takes trust and vulnerability, especially with the risk of being misunderstood.